My Thoughts

The past two weeks or so have been a challenge. I’m grumpy, then sad, then hopeful, but mostly just tired. Maybe I’m going through a second adolescence? I’m definitely ready for some warmer weather. The days are getting longer, bit by bit, and I heard a bird singing this morning; little things like that keep me going.

Right now though? I’m thinking a lot about our responsibility to ourselves. What do you believe in? What do you teach to your children? Do we teach them to be honest? To stand up for not only themselves but for others?

Over on Tornwordo’s blog, there’s been a bit about being honest when someone else makes a mistake. Torn and I know each other very well, and basically agree to disagree on this topic. If someone makes a mistake, we realize it, and make a profit from it, is it acceptable to not say anything? I don’t think so.

Several years ago, a friend of mine bought two large bottles of Tequila from Trader Joe’s and was only charged for one. She happily walked out of the store, knowing that she was undercharged. That’s stealing as far as I’m concerned. Just because she didn’t intend to steal it, doesn’t mean she’s absolved from being guilty of the theft. Yeah, yeah, yeah, shoplifters are much worse, they cause more financial damage; the corporate mark up is ridiculous, etc. All excuses. Those shoplifters, and the corporate big wigs don’t have to sleep with you at night, you do.

A couple nights ago, on the bus home from work, two 13-14 year-old school girls got on the bus. They were followed by a yelling, foul-mouthed girl and her posse of about six other teenagers. She looked older, perhaps around 16-17. She wasn’t wearing a school uniform like some of the others. She had some beef with one of the school girls, and was haranguing the smaller one: “I’m going to kick your fucking ass! You God damn piece of shit! I know where you go to school! I’m going to wait outside for you there!...” and so on. You fill in the words, with every third one being some curse word. The school girl was in tears, had her head down and was saying nothing. Foul-Mouth kept on going, leaning over other passengers, with her little minions laughing away at the show. I was appalled.


Not one adult said anything. The bus is set up with two long rows of seats facing each other on each side of the bus. Foul-Mouth’s chest was in a man’s face who was sitting next to the small school girl, and her ample behind was in the woman’s face who was sitting next to me. Silence, and looking anywhere but at what was taking place.

Wait. Did I say no one said anything? That’s not true. No one else said anything.


I listened to this for about a minute or two, and then went into teacher mode.

“That’s enough!” I hollered at Foul- Mouth. “You are a very tough girl, everyone on the bus knows that now, you’ve made a girl cry, I hope you feel good about yourself. Please sit down and shut up!”

Of course, that just made her direct all her nonsense at me. However, my saying something, woke some other people up, and then some other adults started telling this bully of a girl what to do and where to go. She did back off, slightly, but at least was no longer screaming at the little girl.


Funny thing was, I got off the bus to do some errands, and an hour later, went to the bus stop to catch a different bus home. Lo and behold, there is Foul-Mouth. All alone, no posse this time, and just looking like a regular girl waiting for the bus. I started laughing to myself, thinking how differently we act when we are alone or with others. She said nothing to me. Wouldn’t even look me in the eye. All because I spoke up.


Later, when I told some of my British friends about it, they all said I needed to be more careful; that people were getting knifed for saying less. There’s always a story about this or that person being beaten because they told some punk to stop swearing or tried to step in to stop a fight. Everyone is scared here. It’s crazy. Yes, there are stories of this, but it’s rare; that’s why it’s a news story. You don’t hear ones about how a person helped someone out of a jam, or spoke up for another, because it’s not interesting.

If adults don’t speak up when they see kids or teens acting like this, those teens will learn that being a bully works. What was that little girl on the bus thinking, while Foul-Mouth was threatening her, and the man sitting next to the little girl said nothing? What kind of example does that set?

Yes, my mouth has gotten me in trouble. I usually speak before I think. Someday, I might find myself in some trouble because of it.


I’d rather take that chance.